Nice Guys Don't Finish Last...

Soft guys do.

Fellas, let me give you guys a little word of advice. From a girl's perspective. From MY perspective.

Too many guys nowadays are suckers for love. They'll do and say anything to get a girl. But the problem is that they want so badly to be in a relationship that they're doing and saying so many of the wrong things.

Yes, we do appreciate the sweet gestures, but don't show us your hand up front. The roses, the "Just Because" cards, the poems, all of that stuff shouldn't come right away.

I've talked to countless amounts of guys, and all of them say the same things:

"Give a guy something to work for. Don't put it all out there. We want a challenge. We want to WORK for it."

Well...

Ladies like it the same way!

Of course we aren't going to pursue you the way a man would pursue a woman, but guys, just because a woman appears to be "wife material", does that mean she is? Give her time to "prove herself worthy". Of course WE know we're worthy of whatever special treatment you want to give us, but YOU haven't seen it yet.

Showering us with gifts and sweet talk right away makes us feel like you're (for lack of a better word) desperate.

Like you've waited so long for an opportunity to finally give a woman all you've got, and now that you found a woman that embodies some of the qualities you look for in a wife or even a girlfriend, you're ready to give her the world right away.

We know you have the goods, and we WANT the goods, but we also want you to play "hard to get" when it comes to relinquishing them.

Which brings me to my next point.

Don't be so nice!

Nice guys don't finish last, but they come damn near close in my book.

-It's okay to have an ego. We have one, too. Just don't go overboard with it.

-Show us that you WANT us, but you don't NEED us.
It's possible to for us to know we mean a lot to you without you telling us every 5 minutes.


-When we're together in public, especially if we've JUST started talking, dating, whatever...
Don't smother me. We don't need to hold hands and kiss when we're out at parties or public functions. Give just enough to get the kiddies talking, but don't give them any concrete answers. Let our private life be our private life. People are gonna talk regardless, so let them talk!

However!

While I appreciate being discreet, don't act like you don't know me at all when we're out. Saying hey and conversing in public won't make people think something is up. If you try to carry things as if we're barely friends in public while we're clearly more than friends in private, that's grounds to get the boot.

Don't treat your lady like she's some kind of jump off. And if you genuinely feel as if she IS a jump off, don't send mixed signals. Don't make her feel as if feelings are there when you know very well that it's strictly sex. Not only will that make her feel stupid when you guys are in public, but her "Niggas Ain't Shit" mentality will slowly, but surely increase.

Next...

-It's okay to pick with us.
If you don't like our shoes, you can make fun of them. But keep in mind that we're gonna wear what WE want to wear. It may not be what everyone else is wearing, and our clothes might not even match. But it's what WE like. It's what looks good to us. It's OUR PERSONAL STYLE. So don't expect us to change. Because we won't. I WON'T. Make fun of the little things. We aren't insecure or have low self esteem.

{It's actually a good conversational piece ;) }


-Don't expect us to be your picture perfect queen all of the time. We tie our hair up at night. We don't wear make up all the time. We like to wear sweats sometimes. Our...well...MY breath stinks in the morning. And the more you can understand this about women, the better off you'll be.

Most importantly...

--Keep us on our toes!

Without telling us, let us know that at any moment a woman will try to take our spot. (Ladies, even though many of you say "I'll never fight for a nigga!", the truth is...you have to. And I don't mean "fight" like physically. We have to keep ourselves up. Give our men something to be proud of when he looks at us. Make him proud to show you off. Let your intellect compliment your appearance, as well. Let your confidence be the fighter. Have the kind of confidence that stands out and lets the other chicks know that you're "it", and there's really no competition.) Guys...make us feel like we HAVE to keep ourselves up. Yeah, we know you'll like/love us regardless of how we look, but....simply put....KEEP US ON OUR TOES.




So...

Like I said. Nice guys don't finish last. The soft ones do. The kind of guys who don't give a woman a chance to prove herself to be worthy of you. The same challenges you like in a woman, we like in a man. We don't want anything that comes easy.

Now I'm no relationship guru, but take my word for it.