Nice Guys Don't Finish Last...

Soft guys do.

Fellas, let me give you guys a little word of advice. From a girl's perspective. From MY perspective.

Too many guys nowadays are suckers for love. They'll do and say anything to get a girl. But the problem is that they want so badly to be in a relationship that they're doing and saying so many of the wrong things.

Yes, we do appreciate the sweet gestures, but don't show us your hand up front. The roses, the "Just Because" cards, the poems, all of that stuff shouldn't come right away.

I've talked to countless amounts of guys, and all of them say the same things:

"Give a guy something to work for. Don't put it all out there. We want a challenge. We want to WORK for it."

Well...

Ladies like it the same way!

Of course we aren't going to pursue you the way a man would pursue a woman, but guys, just because a woman appears to be "wife material", does that mean she is? Give her time to "prove herself worthy". Of course WE know we're worthy of whatever special treatment you want to give us, but YOU haven't seen it yet.

Showering us with gifts and sweet talk right away makes us feel like you're (for lack of a better word) desperate.

Like you've waited so long for an opportunity to finally give a woman all you've got, and now that you found a woman that embodies some of the qualities you look for in a wife or even a girlfriend, you're ready to give her the world right away.

We know you have the goods, and we WANT the goods, but we also want you to play "hard to get" when it comes to relinquishing them.

Which brings me to my next point.

Don't be so nice!

Nice guys don't finish last, but they come damn near close in my book.

-It's okay to have an ego. We have one, too. Just don't go overboard with it.

-Show us that you WANT us, but you don't NEED us.
It's possible to for us to know we mean a lot to you without you telling us every 5 minutes.


-When we're together in public, especially if we've JUST started talking, dating, whatever...
Don't smother me. We don't need to hold hands and kiss when we're out at parties or public functions. Give just enough to get the kiddies talking, but don't give them any concrete answers. Let our private life be our private life. People are gonna talk regardless, so let them talk!

However!

While I appreciate being discreet, don't act like you don't know me at all when we're out. Saying hey and conversing in public won't make people think something is up. If you try to carry things as if we're barely friends in public while we're clearly more than friends in private, that's grounds to get the boot.

Don't treat your lady like she's some kind of jump off. And if you genuinely feel as if she IS a jump off, don't send mixed signals. Don't make her feel as if feelings are there when you know very well that it's strictly sex. Not only will that make her feel stupid when you guys are in public, but her "Niggas Ain't Shit" mentality will slowly, but surely increase.

Next...

-It's okay to pick with us.
If you don't like our shoes, you can make fun of them. But keep in mind that we're gonna wear what WE want to wear. It may not be what everyone else is wearing, and our clothes might not even match. But it's what WE like. It's what looks good to us. It's OUR PERSONAL STYLE. So don't expect us to change. Because we won't. I WON'T. Make fun of the little things. We aren't insecure or have low self esteem.

{It's actually a good conversational piece ;) }


-Don't expect us to be your picture perfect queen all of the time. We tie our hair up at night. We don't wear make up all the time. We like to wear sweats sometimes. Our...well...MY breath stinks in the morning. And the more you can understand this about women, the better off you'll be.

Most importantly...

--Keep us on our toes!

Without telling us, let us know that at any moment a woman will try to take our spot. (Ladies, even though many of you say "I'll never fight for a nigga!", the truth is...you have to. And I don't mean "fight" like physically. We have to keep ourselves up. Give our men something to be proud of when he looks at us. Make him proud to show you off. Let your intellect compliment your appearance, as well. Let your confidence be the fighter. Have the kind of confidence that stands out and lets the other chicks know that you're "it", and there's really no competition.) Guys...make us feel like we HAVE to keep ourselves up. Yeah, we know you'll like/love us regardless of how we look, but....simply put....KEEP US ON OUR TOES.




So...

Like I said. Nice guys don't finish last. The soft ones do. The kind of guys who don't give a woman a chance to prove herself to be worthy of you. The same challenges you like in a woman, we like in a man. We don't want anything that comes easy.

Now I'm no relationship guru, but take my word for it.

Dear King...

Happy Birthday.

You're amazing. The best to ever do it, and the best that will EVER do it. You'll forever be missed.

Google had this as their icon when I logged on today, and I got chills. It's so real. You're gone. And granted, I'm still young, but you're music has greatly impacted my generation, although it's not apparent in music right now. Your legacy will live on. If not in music, then in our hearts. My heart. R.I.P.

Happy Birthday

Dope.

I'm soo diggin' this song right now. When I hear it, I wanna slip on my sexiest pair of 5-inch heels and stroll down the street. Any street. Preferrably a busy city street.

I love Wale. He's fresh. Dope. So DC. He has a youthful manliness about himself. And I love it.

And that's just his style.

His music is what we've been missing lately. A powerful breath of fresh air. Singable, but not "SouljaBoy-esque". You can dance to it, but not in a "Stanky Leg, Halle Berry", immature shallow kinda way. It's good music. REAL music. The type of sh*t I appreciate.

Keep doin' ya thing, babe.


...And the video is fire too.

Free.

Guess Who Loves Their Classes??!!

Me.

I absolutely LOVE my classes this semester! I couldn't be more excited to do work (super duper wierd, I know.). But as a Journalism major, it's imperative that I'm not only well read, but am able to see things from others' purviews.

And that's exactly what my classes are about this semester.

African American Literature- We not only read poetry and prose from African Americans in the 1800s-2000s, but we also dissect things that many of us enjoy on the surface.

Today we analyzed Slick Rick and Doug E. Fresh's "La Di Da Di" and "The Show"! How freakin' cool is that? It makes me appreciate music so much more when I look at the lyrics and actually see what the people mean when they say the things they say.

I'm not really feeling a lot of the rap nowadays for THAT very reason. Who cares what kind of car you're driving, or how much your clothes cost? Tell a good story in your music. Humor me.

Humor me.

I appreciate things like that.

That's another reason Solange is my favorite artist right now. She tells stories in her music. She lets us into her life, and talks about REAL LIFE SITUATIONS. Not just things that "sound good". Many people don't even like her music, but she put it plainly:

"If you don't like it, I didn't make it for you."

And I love it. Real music in my opinion.

Advanced Composition- Everyone needs a challenge. And this one is challenging indeed. We have to analyze a tv show, movie, or really anything, and write a paper on what issues are discussed, or maybe even hidden, that deal with society.

(Between me and you, I'm writing mine on the misconception of life and friendships in the hit tv show, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I'll give you guys more details as I write my paper, but that's definitely gonna be it. :)

Philosophy- Woahhhhh. This class is pretty intense. On the first day, he tells us about his "No Bullshit Policy". It's hottt. I love it. He says, "If you don't know an answer, don't give me a bunch of bullshit. I will respect you so much more if you say these three simple words: I DON'T KNOW." He even gives people partial credit on an answer if they put I DON'T KNOW. I can definitely dig it.

Our first class discussion is going to be Does God Exist? Wow. I don't know if I'm ready for this.

"Thinking that what you currently believe may not be true is the requirement for learning."

That's what he said! I don't know if I'm ready to open up my mind to doubting God's omnipresence.

We'll see what happens, though!

I also have a government class, but that needs no discussion. Not really that interesting. It's just a course I'm required to take before graduation.

I absolutely LOVEEE my classes. For once, I'm actually LEARNING things that I can share with you guys and my other peers. This is what school is all about. Forget math and all of that other nonsense if you're not a "Math and other nonsense" major. The learning doesn't really begin until you actually get in your major classes.

Now I see why seniors hated GenEds. And now that I'm a senior, I hate GenEds. They're pointless.

So now that the first 2 days of class are under my belt, I'm prepared for the upcoming semester. It's gonna be awesomery. And with the help of some good friends who are willing to be my study buddy and God, of course, this semester will be a breeze. I'm claiming it!

Happy Birthdayyyy

To me.





:)





Finally 21, baby!!





It feels so good to be able to go out and order a Mimosa for brunch, or a martini during dinner. I'm so happy to be able to sip wine and watch tv...legally. hehe.





Words can't even begin to convey how blessed I feel to have not only reached 21, but to celebrated it with such true friends. I couldn't ask for better friends. We had a blast at The Tobacco Company. Shots of patron, amaretto sours, blue motorcycles, cigars, and lots and lots of dancing. It was an awesomery night, indeed.





I'm blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Thank you Lord for another day, another year.

One. Foot. In. The. Door.

Highway 288. Done. I-64. Sigh. Highway 81. Sniff. Exit 245. Wipes eyes. This is for real.

This is for real.

I can't believe I'm pulling onto JMU's campus and there are actually people walking around. Some with bookbags. Some with bookstore bags. Some walking dogs. But there's one thing EVERY person has in common.

They're all wearing some kind of JMU paraphernalia. They're ALL JMU students.

"School is REALLY about to start, huh?"

I can't say that I'm ready, but I can't say that I'm not excited, either. I'm excited to see the new people. I'm excited for the amazing things this year has in store for BSA. {Oh yeah, I didn't tell you guys. BSA is Black Student Alliance. I'm the Special Events Coordinator this year, and we're doing BIG things. Stay tuned ;) }

I'm excited because I'll be 21 this year. So no more bootleg parties at these little clubs. I have something to do even if there's "nothing" to do. Harrisonburg, although it's a small town, has awesomery bars and other little places you can go to hear some great live music, see breathtaking art, and meet the interesting people that DON'T attend James Madison University.

Oh yeahhh. ^_^

So I drive through campus and get to my apartment. Sigh. I have so much to unpack, and this isn't even all of it. I didnt' even realize how much junk I have in my room/closets until it was time to do some organizing and cleaning.

Out with the old, and in with the new!

I found old cards, birthday and "Just Because" cards. **Sniff sniff**

Old work from my first year at JMU, and even stuff from my freshman year at Coastal Carolina University. I love finding old things! Pics, clothes, accesories, galore.

It's the little things.

After 3 hours of unpacking, cleaning, reminiscing and organizing, I needed a break.

Two of my good JMU friends came over to help me set up my new tv and dvd player, and we went out to lunch. Nothing like some local grub. Good 'ol Sams Hot Dog Stand. Yummmmm. :)

Even though I had the itis, I drove home and brought a friend with me. He kept me up though, because we had the best conversation. Love, life, relationships....I'm feeling a blog comin along about his outlook on love. It's pretty darn interesting!

Finally, I'm home! And tired as ever. But Real Housewives of Atlanta is on, and I REFUSE to miss another episodeeee.

So there we go. I officially have one foot in the door when it comes to getting my apartment...hell, my LIFE in order to prepare for this school year.

Now it's time to buckle down.

Yeah, I'm buckling down.....AFTER my 21st birthday celebration on Saturday!

I'm Just Feelin Like....

yeah.

ijustwannasay...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BESTEST FRIEND A GAL COULD ASK THE GOOD LORD FOR!

Tiona Nicole Bland

YOU ROCK!

Thanks for being my friend, my best friend, through thick and thin. When life got hard and when life was a-ok. From elementary school cheering to visiting each other at college. No one has proven to be as true blue as you. :)

Seems like yesterday we were 9 and couldn't wait to be "double digits" lol.

Now, we're 21 and all grown up. {Well, you're 21, I have 5 more days to go. :) }

"Oh soul, you worry too much. You have seen your own strength.You have seen your own beauty. You have seen your golden wings.Of anything less,why do you worry?You are in truth the soul, of the soul, of the soul."

-Rumi

What We're Debating...

Trey Songz- Anticipation

or

Drake- So Far Gone?

Which one is more of a banger?

Which one has received more buzz?

Can the two even REALLY be compared?

One is a rapper, one is an R&B artist who occasionally raps. Both amazing.

So who is better? Which mixtape goes harder? Is the reason why it seems like more people rock with Drake because as a rapper, he has more punchlines that people often quote?

With Anticipation being a slow, love-making, R&B Mixtape, there's not many punchlines to quote. It's all good vibin' music.

So in your opinion, which was better? Or can the two even be compared?

In MY opinion, it's apples and oranges. Two completely different tasting fruit, but equally delicious. It's all fruit. Both good for you, and that's all that matters. Can't be compared.

They are equally great. And together, they are a force to be reckoned with. So let's not separate the two with silly comparisons.

I wanna hear what you guys have to say...

Tweet Me! www.twitter.com/JMarie823

I'd love to hear your opinions!!

:)

Strictly Sex or Undercover Lovers?

How do you know if you're emotionally able to have a F.B. or a sex buddy?

Me and my girls are sitting here discussing...

Is it safe to have a sex buddy? How many people are TRULY capable of using someone for sex? Where do you draw the line?

A lot of times, when two people are casually having sex, SOMEONE gets emotionally involved. Most times, it's expected to be the girl. But as of late, Oh, How The Tables Have Turned.

Let me tell a little story.

A girl I knew, lets call her Sharon, was the serious relationship type. When she dated, she dated for years at a time. But heartbreak soon led up to being fed up. The men in her life- cousins, best friends, and acqaintances- have all proven to be no good in one way or the other. They play games, toy with girls' emotions, and don't really want anything serious nowadays. So...Sharon began to think...

"Okay, two can play this game. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Time to start dating like a n*gga"

And so it began...

Upon meeting a man, she'd let them know: "I'm just having fun, I don't really want anything serious, so let's just have fun and play it cool."

And it seemed to work out just fine.

Until.

Sharon met a guy through her friend. Her and (let's call him Chris) began to have casual sex, having already stated what they wanted to get out of this "ordeal".

"I'm not really looking for a relationship, I'm trying to have fun."

But after a few nightcaps, things began to change.

Feelings began to evolve.

What was once meaningless sex became an attempt at passion. bonding. lovemaking.

Chris began holding her hands during sex, cuddling afterwards, the whole nine, and Sharon knew it had gone too far. She thought, "Have the tables turned? Did I, the girl who was once a sucker for love, join the 'players club'? Here we are having casual sex, and yet I'm still chillin. I don't really even want anything more from him. I'm content with a few nightcaps here and there. HE'S the one going in depth with all of the emotional hooplah."

As hard as Chris tried to disguise his feelings, it was apparent. His actions as well as attitudes began changing. And salty wasn't the word. He was far more than bitter. He had legit caught feelings for Sharon.

Indeed.

The tables had turned.

So my question is:

Is it REALLY possible to have sex without someone catching feelings? Even if they aren't vocal about their feelings, is it likely that someone has indeed become emotionally attached?

At what point do you draw the line when it comes to "F.B.s" ? No kissing? No holding hands? Hell, for some, it's "No Missionary...that's too intimate." To ensure that no one has or will catch feelings and renege on their agreement to keep it "strictly sex", what must be done?

Can it really be STRICTLY SEX?

Or will one or both of the parties eventually become an UNDERCOVER LOVER?

Oh, the mystery that is this world of lovers and friends.

Ode To Owens...

I love when people read my blog. Especially when these people are my friends. Nothing like the support of your closest pals. Means a lot to me. :)

HOWEVER!

Copy. Paste. Delete. Preview. Save as draft. Insert picture. Insert video. Change font. Change color. Edit. Publish. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.



Blogging takes soo much time and energy! To blog everyday would be like having sex everyday...

Actually...I retract that statement.

But to blog everyday would be like making a 2 hour commute to and from work everyday.

You love your job, and the money is great, and the benefits are great...but DAMN, DAMN, DAMN...that damn commute.

Well that's how blogging is. I love love love to blog. I love talking about my personal life, and I love letting people see me for who I am. But lawdy, the road to getting there isn't easy.

But I do it for the people who love reading it. It means so much to me. :)

My biggest supporter thus far has been my dear darling friend Reneka. I wuv her.

Everyday I'm getting a call. "Update your damn blog, woman! Change your damn picture!" Criticism is tough, yes, and initially, it's hard to have someone critique what you're doing.

But I appreciate it so much. I love her for it.

I love support and comments about something I'm so passionate about.

Soooo...I decided to dedicate an entry to her.


This is no

deep

passionate

controversial

blog entry.


...It's no anecdote about my crazy weekend.

It's simply an ode.

A

music-less,

stanza-less





Ode to Owens.

What I'm Reading...

I support my fellow bloggers. I stumbled upon this website an hour ago while browsing the web and I haven't been able to navigate away from the page yet (except, of course, to tell you guys about it). The website is called Naked With Socks On, and it discusses any and everything you'd ever think about when it comes to relationships; from PDA to group dates, crying during sex and hickies. It's all good reading. Check it out. You won't be disappointed :)

Click the link to check it out ;)

http://www.nakedwithsockson.com/

A Night Out With Monacan's Finest ;)

First off, let me start by saying....

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TAMIA AND TAMERA!!!

Okie dokie. Now that that's out of the way...

This weekend was another very eventful weekend with my girlies.

GROWN & SEXY PARTY + CHAMBERLAYNE AVE.= NOT GROWN & SEXY, FUN, HOT MESS

Of course, me and my lovelies were the life of our own little party. :)

(Tamia & Tamera Jammin')

(Neka, Me, Devon, Lyndzi)

It all started that evening as I was trying to find something to wear...emphasis on "Grown & Sexy" always puts a little extra pressure on me for some strange reason. Needless to say, I scrownged up (that's not really a word, but we always say it, and it sounds right...but typed up?..Not so much) an outfit. I'd like to think I looked like a secretary, so I told my friends to call me "Mary" for the night. Yes, I was a hot secretary who worked late and went straight to the club!

So me, Lyndzi, and Neka all headed out to meet Tamia, Tamera, and Devon :)

BYYYY THE WAY! Did I forget to mention how HAWTTT Lyndzi looked? She was gorgeous!! Lookin like someone's hot secretary, as well.
Neka was fabulous dahhhling with her "I'm a Survivor" pumps ;). Shexxxy indeed.



So all dolled up we headed downtown.

After being lost for a few minutes, we finally drive down Cary St. and see these 2 short, slightly tipsy twins and Devon dancing in the street. I love my crazy friends!!

(Me and the Ladies Before Entering the Party)


A bottle of wine, police chase, no parking, and a black cat later, we make our way into this "Grown & Sexy" party. Ha! Someone PUHLEEEASE tell me what's grown and sexy about a POLO ASSN shirt and some Coogi jeans?? (waiting....waiting....waiting....exactly.)

In the party, the birthday boy asks us what it'll take for us to get up and dance. ANYONE who knows us knows that ANYTHING Trey Songz is enough for us. :)

(This man is fine as wine ^_^)

"Okay, I'll play some Trey, but YOU owe me a dance if I do." He tells LYNDZI. hahaha

"To say I'm egotistical is so stereotypical, if I say I'm the sh*t then maybe you can be my tissue rolllll..."

ego - trey songz

....Here comes the birthday boy! Ready to dance.........

Needless to say......

LYNDZI LOST HER VIRGINITY THAT NIGHT!

Noooo.....Not literally! But she was WORKING THAT BOY, you hear me?! Her very first time...

It was sooo cute!

Meanwhile, me and Devon sat down for a while and caught up on old times. She and I had been best friends since 4th grade...but lost touch, so we started the path to rebuilding our friendship. It was definitely a good night.

Until stank breath came over to tell us to be quiet.

EXCUSE ME??

We're at a party. Loud music. Dancing. We're GOING to talk. Now you and your burnout polo shirt get out of our face. Thanks. :)
(This picture was accidental, but kinda artsy. I like it :)

Of course, the night couldn't end until something very raunchy happened to one of us. Sitting, minding my own business, some skinny, hip rollin, sweaty boy comes in front of me, jyrating.

WHAT ABOUT MY LOOK SCREAMED, "I WANT A LAP DANCE FROM YOU!"?

However, he proceeded to jyrate on me. It was all fun and games until he started putting his crotch in my face. GAG. All of a sudden, Neka, Lyndzi, Devon, Tamia, and Tamera start screaming and saying "NO! NO!" And pull him off of me...Thank God for friends who know when enough is enough!

(Right after they pulled him off of me. They couldn't get a pic of the actual dance.)

Luckily, Neka knew him, so it was A LITTLE better...because I know she wouldn't let some psychopath dance all up in my face (cringing as I recall this incident).

(Devon, Neka, Lyndzi)

We ended our night after 1 crybaby attempt from Devon, and headed home.

(Pulling Devon Off The Floor :)


It always happens like this.

At the end of the summer, things start getting interesting. People start coming back around, friendships are rekindled, and there's ALWAYS something to do. Makes it hard to say goodbye.

I don't wanna say goodbye.



Not to summer. Not to friends. Not to late nights/early mornings.


Not just yet.

Happy Birthday Mr. President!

I know this song was not ORIGINALLY sung for Barack Obama, but I'm using it anyways. I LOVE Miss Monroe, and besides, how appropriate is this?! Exactly. ^_^ Our President is an amazing man, an outstanding citizen, the youngest to ever do it and he's doing a darn good job. Happy Birthday Mr. Barack Obama! Hope it's a great one!




Love,

Janna & Marilyn Monroe ;)

What I'm Listening To...

Trey Songz - Anticipation

What I'm Watchin'

The kids are amazing.