A Big Apple A Day....

New Blog is up and running!! I got a late start, so although today is the 17th, I posted a picture from the 15th. I'll get caught up, though..PROMISE!! Anywho, as stated before, it documents my new life in the Big Apple, providing one meaningful (meaningful to me, anyways ) picture a day and a brief description (A Big Apple A Day....get it? I'm so cool).

I hope you keep up, and I hope you enjoy!!

www.thebigapple365.blogspot.com :)

New Project.

Soooo. January 15th marked a milestone in my life: I moved to New York!! I've only been here for exactly 24 hours, and I've already met a bunch of cool people and engaged in great conversation with new friends. My favorite cousin and I went to a diner in the weeee hours of the morning, just trying to give me a taste of what goes on during a typical Saturday night in NYC....delish!

Anywho....because I'm so FREAKINGG excited about this new chapter in my life....the beginning to the book of the rest of my life..I've decided to document the first 365 days as a New Yorker! I'm deciding to take a Picture of the Day on a separate blog (I'll post the website later today....I haven't quite made it yet *ashamed face*) and give a brief description of why it made it as that day's post. I already have a fantastic picture from last night at one of the girls' house, so that'll most likely be my first post! Stay tuned!!

I'm excited!!! ^_^

Regret.

I don't regret the laughs, nor do I regret the cries. The trips, the many Happy Hours, the many friends that I've met, I wouldn't trade them for the world. I don't regret the late nights spent making love, or the sweet nothings I let you whisper in my ear. I cherish the bond I've built with your family, gaining the chance to "heal" your heart from the "hurt of past relationships." You said I did it, so it must be true, right? I don't regret the arguments, the many times I was disrespected by figments of your "past." I don't regret the sleepless nights...the nights I spent fighting for myself....for us. Even though I probably should, I don't regret the 6-page texts from friends as they hammer me with advice- most of which I clung to just long enough to feel better....all to fall into the trap again. To be quite honest, there isn't much I regret in life. Everything is a learning experience, all of which I thank you tremendously for.

But I CAN say....my only regret , from January 23rd, 2010 to now, is the millions of "I Love You"'s that I let roll from my tongue and into your ear... instead of locking them away in a safe, saving them for the man who truly deserves to be covered in them.

New Soulmates.

Love is by far the most beautiful aspect of life. Whether the love of a career, pastime, friends, or a significant other, it, in most cases, becomes so edifying that you choose to relish in nothing but that. It gives you such a sublime feeling; a feeling that is unmatched. And TRUE love? Definitely a rarity. To feel that life is worth living because of the mere existence of something or someone you love just proves how powerful it can be. But of course, love doesn't always work out. It doesn't always last, and it is often lost when treated with complacency. I've neglected my first love, all because I thought I found someone more deserving of my attention. But here I am, back on my blog, typing and backspacing, begging for a second chance.

Never again will I neglect to invest my time and energy in the things in life that really matter. I made the common mistake of putting aside my passion as I place a "soulmate" on an undeserving pedestal. But that "soulmate" is off, and rightfully replaced with new ones.

Writing and true friends...two soulmates that have always exemplified true love.

Réactionnaire.

Never again will I let someone kill my dreams.

Never again will I let myself let someone kill my dreams.

Never again will I let someone destroy me.

Starting from square one never felt more refreshing.

Here goes nothing...

Soulmate.

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so out of control that you have to transform your life…"

-Elizabeth Gilbert

To my one and only... Everyday I thank God for placing you in my life. For showing me what a soul mate TRULY is, and allowing you to be that help-mate in my life. Let's grow together, as we allow God to continue to shape us into the what he wants us to be...for Him as well as each other.

ily.

..and so it ends... the summer that connected our skies and brought us together, but even though this chapter has ended the next will be even better

- Jeremiah Hall

Love Me.

I have hasty emotions. I drunk text, and often regret it. I'm sensitive. I'm the queen of 'dishing it out, but can't take it.' In the midst of my womanly confidence, somewhere you'll find an insecure toddler. I say 'I'm Fine' when I'm really not. I'm an impulse buyer. I'll spend my last on shoes. I yo-yo diet. 'Procrastination' is my middle name. I'm easily annoyed. I love hard. I get those 'time-of-the-month' pimples when it's not 'that time of the month.' I love my boyfriend, but I'm having an affair with food. I've cheated on tests. I drink lattes... everyday. I've allowed others to change me. I pursue what sometimes has no potential. I give second chances. Third chances. Fourth chances. I trust everyone. I'm a selfish lover. I'm spoiled. I dwell on the past. I cry often. I'll ask you not to do to me the very thing I'll do to you, and justify it by saying, 'I know MY intentions'. I just learned how to balance friendships. I color my hair at least once a month. I care a lot more than I should. I lock myself out of my car...frequently. I sometimes snoop through people's phones. I say I'll stop cursing, but some things just sound better when you throw one in there....bitch. I'll spend an hour just refreshing my Twitter page. I love to write, but I neglect my blogsite from time to time. I daydream everyday about what I WANT to be, when I should be using that time actually making it happen. I try my hardest to make EVERYONE happy, even if it means I'm miserable. I'm indecisive. I worry.......a lot.

Even with a million and one reasons not to.........

.......will you still love me?

I Need Clearance....

How do you know when you're making the right decision? How do you know when and when to not follow your heart?

....Or should you always follow your heart? When it comes to life and love, I try to have an even blend of logics and what my heart feels, but my heart always overpowers.

Am I wrong because I like it that way? I believe in giving both people and things the benefit of the doubt. I pursue something so long as my heart still desires it. That's who I am, that's who I've always been. But is this the right way to live?

I Need Clearance....

I Need Clearance........

I need a better understanding of this thing called life. When does playing by your own rules transform into playing dumb? Are there REALLY rules that one needs to adhere to when it comes to life and love?

I Need Clearance...

I want to hear from God. I NEED to hear from God. But I don't know if what I hear is really God, or my insecurities about life...

I Need Clearance....

Maybe God will send me a sign, like a burning bush, or a flood, or a plague....but that's highly unlikely, right? I've been raised in the church, and even still, I can't decipher God's voice completely. I know, it's bad to say, but I'm just being honest.

I have unanswered questions in life, and as much as I rely on following my heart, sometimes people make me feel as if I'm wrong...or could be wrong.

But what about what I want?? I'm confused......

I Need Clearance......from SOMEBODY.

Or do I?

I'm content with playing the prescriptive role in my own life....

I'll Give Myself Clearance.

Mute.

I have been itching to blog. Scratchin'. Yearning! But....nothing. So much has happened in my life in the past few months, and so many emotions have run through my head, but still, NOTHING. My best posts seem to come when I'm down and out, hurting from Love.

Love lost.

Maybe even a "Like" lost.

But now, on June 11th, at 10:40pm, I'm not hurting. I'm not down or out.

I'm happy.

I'm probably the happiest I've ever been in my life. I've traded in my life of confusion, instability, and the constant seraching for void-fillers for a certain, unwavering, fulfilled life.

So, I need to get used to grabbing inspiration from the positive aspects of my life and no longer harbor all of the negative emotions and energy.

I believe that soon I'll get the inspiration to blog like I used to, because it's my heart, my love, my LIFE. But right now......

I'm mute.

I'm starting to believe that there's no one you can trust with your personal business. I understand why people stay so private. Even the closest of people don't need to know what's going on in your life.

Ode to A Delicate Gaines.

Victoria, Vic, Delicate, Deli,

So it finally hit me, and I finally broke down. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but it's been really hard for me these past couple of hours, as you could see. I just can't believe it's here. I'm sooo not ready to say goodbye to my sister, best friend, FIRST JMU friend, roommate, and SOULmate. Delicate Gaines, you have meant so much to me ever since the first day I met you. You're such an amazing human being, and I can't and don't want to imagine life without you next year. I'm so proud of the woman you've become in these past 3 years, and I can't wait to see the woman you'll grow to be. My JMU experience wouldn't have been what it has without you by my side EVERY SINGLE DAY, even if it's through Skype when you're right upstairs. I can't thank God enough for placing you in my life and blessing you with such a beautiful, caring, and genuine spirit that brightens even the darkest of my days. I love you, Deli, and I'll never forget the bond we've built and the memories we've made. It's true what they say. You don't come to college to find your husband, you come to find your bridesmaids. Well, you have a guaranteed spot in my wedding! I love you BEST FRIEND! *cheeeeeez*

Love,

Bananuh. :)

Love.

Conquers. All. <3

M.I.A.

It's been a month since I've blogged. Well, almost a month. I feel terrible. School has been kicking my sweet little tushie!! Seriously...

My Shakespeare class shows me NO mercy (I actually escaped researching for a big 14 page paper to come blog) and I am counting down the days until I no longer have to carry around a 4,000 page book of every play he's ever written.

On top of that, BSA had our HUGE Ebony Exposure Week. Semi-formal ball, Flag football, Entrepreneur workshop, Soul Food dinner and comedian Lil Duval (enter big Kool-Aid smile here) made our week FABULOUS and an incredible success!

I've also been taking gym classes a few times a week... Kickboxing, Step (ugh, never again), Body Sculpt, Core Training, Zumba, Hip-Hop...I'm on the way to my summer body!!

As a preview to the madness that will be this summer, Springfest 2010 happened this weekend...and well....let the video show you how it went...

Yes people...this is my school. Oh, JMU, how I love thee. Our President sent us all emails telling us we're an embarrassment to the University :( Sorry Dr. Rose!! We'll behave for the remainder of the year! (i think...)

So yeah, let me get back to being productive and getting closer to the end of the semester! Love you all! I'll stop slacking, I promise! You can also follow me at twitter.com/ItsMeJMarie since I've been such a slacker at blogging. I tweet nonstop! (Don't judge me!)

Below are pics of me at our Semi-Formal event "BE Regal" last Saturday. Me and Loleeta are underneath (she'll be taking over my Special Events Coordinator position for the 2010-2011 year!!).

Love my vintage blazers! Shoes via Dolce Vita. :)

"All ladies: take a second to look in the mirror... Then tell yourself,

'I'm beautiful just how I am...'"

- Nova Giovanni

:)

"Feminist" is NOT a Curse Word.

You don't need to cringe when I say, "I'm an editor for Sister Speak, a feminist magazine."

I won't jump down your throat every chance I get and hammer you with 'Women's Rights' chants.

Feminists simply believe in gender equality, women's rights, and the overall empowerment of women.

Being a feminist does NOT mean that I'm a lesbian, and it doesn't mean that I plan to take control of every relationship that I embark on.

In fact, as a religious woman, I plan to walk in my destiny and be the woman God has always called me to be. Called us to be.

Beautiful on the inside while continuously preserving my outward beauty.

Strong, yet Meek.

Efficient.

Virtuous.

Virtuous.

I AM a Virtuous Woman.

And as a Virtuous woman and a feminist, I seek to embrace my womanhood in every facet, from gaining a daily cognizance of my rights to falling in love with my vagina.

It's beautiful. Unique. Handcrafted by God, and makes me every bit of a woman.

I love my vagina.

I am a woman.

Feminists ought not be misconceived for their strength, and feared for their powerful impact on society, but rather respected.....

.....for their strength and powerful impact on society.

The beauty of it is...Even though I have no idea where I'm going, and I know I'm blindfolded, I've been smiling this whole time. Just hold my hand...and don't jump when I squeeze it.

-unknown

Laughter is Good for the Soul.

I kinda feel bad for laughing at this!!

But between me spraining my ankle in DC this weekend (apparently I can't walk down steps and laugh at the same time), waking up with incredible sinus issues, and breaking out in hives more and more everyday (going to the Dr. first thing in the morning, by the way), I need a good laugh!

I can't remember where I found this picture, but I saved it on my computer a while ago and just came across it again...so glad I did!

In addition to this pic, I had an INCREDIBLE Valentine's weekend with my girls in DC! Nightclubs, dinner, lunch, roadtrips, wine, and CakeLove cupcakes, laughs, memories! I had a blast. I'll never forget the people in my life who make it worth living. Thanks God for placing such amazing..FUNNY people in my path!

Also, today I went to see the Vagina Monologues! I loved laughing at something that we don't really have a social etiquette for: Vagina. And while I'm not a die-hard Feminist, I AM an advocate for the empowerment of women. I'm an editor and writer for a feminist magazine, Sister Speak, and it's amazing to get an up-close and personal view of feminism and women empowerment. It's a beautiful thing!! The Vagina Monologues were wonderful! I cried, I laughed, and most importantly, I got in touch with my inner feminist. I loved it!

Laughter is indeed the best medicine. And while I'm not PHYSICALLY healed, my spirits are definitely lifted!!

:)

"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me, and I may be forced to love you."

~William Arthur Ward

Black History. BECOME History.

Since 1926, African Americans have celebrated Black History Month (it started out as Black History Week) as a way to honor the remarkable African Americans who preceeded us. Every year in the month of February, Blacks have trivia games, watch television specials, and even devote class time to learning about the greats such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Rosa Parks, Hiram R. Revels, and Madame C.J. Walker, just to name a few.

We take time to reflect on the tremendous progress the African American race has made, from rising above slavery to gaining citizenship, and ultimately, the right to vote.

Regardless of what anyone (Black or not) has to say, our race has defeated oppression and has implanted a powerful footprint in the history books.

But why are we satisfied with simply reading about the greats that paved the way for us? Why don't we strive to BECOME these "greats"?

This year, I've gained a new vantage on Black History Month. While I will continue to reflect on the lives and achievements of the figures who risked their lives and their freedom so that Blacks can be where we are today, I will now strive to BECOME part of history.

What good is it to look at where we've been if we refuse to take initiative and pave the path on which we're going? I possess no desire to read about the past forever. I aspire to BE THE FUTURE.

This Black History Month, I want to shift my attention to the up and coming African Americans. As the old saying goes, "Iron sharpens iron." We have the power to uplift those blacks around us and join in on the quest to becoming an even greater black community. An even greater black youth.

<3

We're a powerful generation, and if we let go of the violence, pettiness, and complacency, we WILL be a forced to be reckoned with. We have it in us....

So let's make History! Black History. BE History.